Writing our own story is not just adding on to the narrative. It is also choosing what stays behind on the previous pages. Like a closet or a wardrobe, in order to make room for newness, we must let go of the old. Letting go of who I once was, of the story attached to my legal name, can be painful. That person kept me alive for so many years. He allowed me to walk towards the path that I’m on now, as scared as he was. He sought love and kindness and bravery at every turn, and eventually found grace for himself when he failed.
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Each morning, I pull a tarot card and decide on an affirmation for the day. Today, for instance, I pulled the Two of Coins from a deck called “The Naked Truth”. The affirmation that came to mind was: You don’t have to show off to show up. Now, throughout the day, I’ll mull that over and contemplate the myriad ways it could apply to me or my loved ones. It’s a practice I love, but I’ve often pondered “Why tarot?”
Read MoreTransformation is a great challenge. Transformation is a terrifying thing. I do not think the caterpillar knows it will become a butterfly before it spins its chrysalis. Maybe it hopes, as we all do. Imagine, however, the fear of burying yourself, shutting out the world, only to know that the fight through will require great strength and that you come out on the other side a different person.
Read MoreI think many people do not know how to love. They know the noun beautifully. Our songs and our stories describe the word “love” with lightness and joy. Love is a many-splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love, blah blah blah. I do not think these pieces of culture lie about love, but I think they do a disservice to it by missing crucial aspects of love.
Read MoreMy heart is aching tonight. I have experienced the hardest and most devastating end to a relationship in my life. In my grief, I have been privileged to talk to so many women who date men. What we have all shared, anecdotally at least, is the knowledge that dating is incredibly challenging right now.
Men are not doing well.
Read MoreI grew up in a Missouri Synod Lutheran congregation, surrounded by a family that was heavily tied to the church. My grandfather was a teacher, principal, and bus driver for a small Lutheran school. He and my grandmother built a small cottage on a private Lutheran lake and then after their retirements, moved there permanently. My father was deeply attached to the church. It was the only place I saw him be moved to tears. I knew something special existed there.
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